Work and Choices

Click on picture to see a larger image. I haven't posted in nearly a week. It has been pretty intense lately. I work for myself. I left my corporate job about a year and a half ago, and am glad I did. I missed So Cal. Turns out I'd rather be conservative in a blue state than liberal in a red state - but I'll save that for another blog. In addition to missing the left coast (I was in Atlanta), I was burned out. Corporate culture can impact you if you are trying to climb the ladder. I was and it did. I was talking with friends this weekend. We were celebrating my upcoming birthday (we use birthdays as an excuse for enjoying good company, good food, and good wine). The topic turned to values and current culture. Looking back, I see that I fell into a value trap. I valued money, recognition and prestige. I got them. But the more I got, the less happy I was. I also found that there was never enough - I kept pouring more money in, but the bucket kept getting bigger too. I found that recognition is fleeting, and satisfies for only a moment. When I was late in my college career, I wanted to be a marriage and family counselor, but got into a research PhD program. You see, I thought a PhD is more prestigious than a master's degree, I told myself - and the program invited me to apply, it fed right into my ego. I then was going to be a professor. I was all set, too. I knew the right people and was positioned for a career in personality psychology. But I ended up "selling out" for the money. I actually got the chance to do some side teaching at UCLA. I loved it, but by that time I was addicted to the revenue from my full time job, and couldn't go back. In the end, a PhD is no better than someone without one. A VP at a company is no better than someone who is not. And having things does not satisfy like I thought it would when I had not. What has satisfied? My marriage. My friends. My faith. Doing for others. I see God's hand in my corporate journey. I have learned. And God has used me for His ends. At each place I have been, I have been ideally positioned to help someone or some group for the better, at school, at work or in my community. THAT satisfies! But I wish I had taken the direct route to helping others, and not done it "on the side." I am working rather hard right now (this month in particular, but the larger "now" as well). I am trying to get off the treadmill. It helps to remember that goal when I start to feel overwhelmed. I need to shrink my bucket so that I can make a switch. To do this, I am in the odd position of actually having to work even harder. But now I have a goal to end the cycle. In the long run, I hope to get retrained as a marriage and family counselor. I think that was my calling - I wish I had listened sooner. Oh, the picture is of Pismo Beach. I have been working so hard, that I thought it appropriate. Man, I wish I was there! Tags:Work, Values

Five People in Five Categories Meme

Click on picture to see a larger image. Moneybags from A Catholic Life has posed difficult questions. As you can see in the picture, I went to my thinking spot and made some tough choices. I will refrain from giving any "whys" as tempting as that may be, since it would take too long, and I am low on energy. Besides, projective techniques are fun both for the person taking it AND the interpreter. The psychologist in me wants to ask "so why do YOU think I chose these?" :) Before giving the list, I have one caveat. I am leaving out Jesus (celebrity of the best kind) and the Blessed Mother (Saint or Celebrity). Mostly, because I wanted more space. :) Here goes: Instructions: "If you could meet and have a deep conversation with any five people on earth, living or dead, from any time period, who would they be?" Name five people from each of the following categories: Saints, Those in the Process of Being Canonized, Heroes from your native country, Authors/Writers, Celebrities. Then, tag five people. Saints St. Peter St. Ignatius Loyola St. Francis of Assisi St. Thomas Aquinas St. Augustine of Hippo Those being canonized John Paul II Mother Theresa Junipero Sera John XXIII Kateri Tekakwitha American Heroes Abe Lincoln Franklin Roosevelt Dwight Eisenhower JFK Jimmy Carter Authors J. R. R. Tolkien C.S. Lewis Mark Twain William Shakespeare Stephen King (wow! How does he fit?!) Celebrities Humphrey Bogart Harrison Ford Meg Ryan Steve Martin Gordon Sumner (Sting) Tag Your it: Jennifer F at "Et Tu Jen?" Adoro Te Devote at AdoroTeDevote Amber at This Catholic Journey The Ironic Catholic at The Ironic Catholic Jerry Grasso at My Autistic Boy And Other Adventures In Fatherhood

Joy

Click on picture to see a larger image. When I see the picture above, I see and feel joy. When I lived the moment, there was joy. We finally had reached our destination on a long trip. Why is this relevant? Read on. This weeks Sunday readings were particularly good. I read a wonderful take on this that I have quoted from below. There are lots of lessons in his commentary. I particularly like the point on joy and why Christ chose wine to turn into his Blood, and have quoted it below. I got this from the Zenit news service. I have only quoted parts - check out the entire posting by clicking on the link below. From: Father Cantalamessa on Bread and Wine "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of man and drink his blood, you have no life in you; he who eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day. For my flesh is food indeed, and my blood is drink indeed. He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him." The Gospel passage continues the reading of chapter 6 of John. The new element is that to the discourse on bread Jesus adds that of wine; to The image of food he adds that of drink, the gift of his flesh and of his blood. Here, Eucharistic symbolism reaches its culmination and totality. But, why, precisely, did Jesus choose wine to signify his blood? Just because of the affinity of color? What does wine represent for men? It represents joy, celebration; it does not represent usefulness so much (as bread does) but delight. It is not only made to drink, but also to toast. Jesus multiplied the loaves because of the people's need, but in Cana he multiplied the wine for the delight of the guests. Scripture says that "wine gladdens man's heart andbread strengthens it" (Psalm 104:15). If Jesus had chosen bread and water for the Eucharist, he would only have indicated the sanctification of suffering ("bread and water" are in fact synonymous with fasting, austerity and penance). By choosing bread and wine he also wished to indicate the sanctification of joy. How wonderful it would be if we also learned to live the joys of life in a Eucharistic manner, that is, in thanksgiving to God. God's presence and look do not cloud our honest joys; on the contrary, they enlarge them. Tags: Christianity, Catholicism, Eucharist, Blood of Christ, Wine, Joy

Prayer for Consciousness

Click on picture to see a larger image. From www.sacredspace.ie Consciousness To be conscious about something is to be aware of it. Dear Lord help me to remember that You gave me life. Thank you for the gift of life. Teach me to slow down, to be still and enjoy the pleasures created for me. To be aware of the beauty that surrounds me. The marvel of mountains, the calmness of lakes, the fragility of a flower petal. I need to remember that all these things come from you. Tags: Christianity, Catholicism, prayer

Love, Guidance, or Guidance AND Love

Click on picture to see a larger image. I have been thinking some things, and I want to express them. I humbly ask for your thoughts and guidance as I struggle with these issues. If I state things strongly, it is not for lack of respect - it is passion; passion about my faith, about my Church, and about building a Catholic community. I have been wrestling with a couple thoughts. They have to do with the whole left/right thing within the Church. In my description I say that I am not liberal and I am not conservative. I am Catholic, and that makes all the difference. What do I think that means? Let me share some personal examples - then I'll get to it. I have been having an ongoing conversation with my brother. He is definitely feeling called to work on social justice issues, and he likes to challenge people. He is 23, and I am 37. I think I was a lot like him that way when I was 23. He wore a t-shirt recently that on one level, I firmly agree with. It said "Oxymoron: Pro Life and Pro Death Penalty." I saw this, and got peeved with him. Why? I am pro-life and anti death penalty - what's my beef? Well, I believe that protecting unborn children is top of the pro-life list (but I do agree with the Church -and my bro- that there is a lot more than one item on the list). Those good people, working against abortion are doing good work on this most important issue. Should they be criticized then because of what they are not doing? Aren’t there are enough people criticizing from the outside? Online, you can so easily stumble onto a "catholic" site promoting women priests, or the schismatic Society of St. Paul, or any number of extremists. Take the term "Orthodox Catholic." Here is a quote from the Catholic Encyclopedia: "He, therefore, is orthodox, whose faith coincides with the teachings of the Catholic Church." With that definition, I say, “AMEN! I am orthodox (thank God)!” But using it as a label, it says something different. It says, "I am right, and if you don't agree with me, you are wrong." I have seen "Orthodox Catholic" used, on one hand, by those who think we can and should ordain women priests yet, on the other hand, by those who think Vatican II was a heresy, and the pope an apostate. Me? I'll be a Catholic (and an orthodox one), but not an "Orthodox Catholic." What is going on? How did we get here? When I look at the extremes of the spectrum, I see people emphasizing two important messages from Christ, but to different degrees. Christ preached love - of the poor, of the sinner, of the outcast. Jesus was also not too big a fan of the then current rule focused religious - he had some choice words for them. They understood and practiced the rules of the religion, but missed the point on God's love. This is where the far "Left" lives - accepting the sinners and outcasts, while shunning rules that they feel oppressive to achieving those ends. But Christ also preached repentance: "Go and sin no more." This means that there are rules that need to be followed. He did preach the Commandments (as well as love). He also made clear some pretty stiff consequences for rejecting his teachings (yep, there is a Hell). And then He established a Church on the rock of Peter - that has the power to hold things bound. That is where the "Right" lives - obedience, living rightly by the rules, and repentance for their sins, but also judging those who bend/break the rules. The Right sees the gift God gave us in the guidance from the true Church of Christ - and that ignoring that Truth can have grave (and fiery) consequences, but they forget the reaching out by Christ Himself to the tax collectors and prostitutes. If you move too far to the left, you forget that there is responsibility and authority that go with love. If you move too far to the right, you get an overemphasis on the rules and condemnation of sinners – you forget the love. On the left, you get modernism. Not good. On the right you get modern day Pharisees. Also not good. On the left, we hear that Vatican II did not go far enough. On the right we hear that it went too far. I may be wrong, but I think we need both the love and guidance - TOGETHER. We need to accept and forgive and encourage, but we must hold firm to our Faith and the Teachings. We need to not change everything willy-nilly. But we should embrace guided change under the leadership in Rome and the bishops - though God only knows how some of them became bishops. ("Thy will be done" not "my will be done"). And about Vatican II - I am orthodox - I believe the Holy Spirit will never leave the Church, and wasn't taking a nap when it happened. It did not go too far. And it went just as far as it should have, any further would have been too far. So that is what it looks like from where I am. Am I full of bologna? Tags: Christianity, Catholicism, orthodox

Feast of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary

Click on picture to see a larger image. Today is the feast of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary. Today we celebrate when God brought Mary's body as well as her soul to Heaven after she died. She gets to fully participate in the resurrection right away because of her selfless, sinless life. She is the one who said yes to God - Praise God for that "YES!" The love our Lord must have for his mother! And, oh the love she has for us her children! Christ gave her to us, and us to her through John when he was on the Cross. It is awesome - in the true sense of the word. Let's celebrate!!!!! I'd like to do it here in two ays. I am blessed to lector at this evening's mass. I'd like to quote from the reading I will be allowed to proclaim tonight (these are just two of the lines). It is from Revelation 11:2,5. "A great sign appeared in the sky, a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon beneath her feet, and on her head a crown of twelve stars. She gave birth to a son, a male child, destined to rule all the nations with an iron rod." Amen! The other way I want to celebrate, is with on of my favorite prayers. It is the Momorare: Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that any one who fled to your protection, implored your help or sought your intercession, was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins my Mother; to you I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful; O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy hear and answer me. Amen. Have a great feast day!!!!! Tags: Christianity, Catholicism, Blessed Virgin Mary, Prayer, Memorare

Forgive me Father for I have sinned...

Click on picture to see a larger image. I was on Sacred Space(one of my favorites - the link is in the side bar), and they had some thoughts today that seemed to hit home. So I'd like to share part of it. Here is part of what they wrote: "...When God looks at me, he desires me and is saying: You are desirable. I made you good. I want you. God sees me as his daughter or son, whom he loves. He says: You are mine. His gaze says: I delight in you. Can I accept this gaze of love? Or do I run back into disapproval of myself?...." I went to confession today - we all go as a family (poor Mike has to wait for us - he starts second grade this year, so not too much longer until he can do more than wait). I felt that giddy feeling afterwards, when your soul is all fresh and clean. I don't know if others have that feeling, but when I make an honest confession - I feel liberated (and loved)! Anyways, the quote above got me thinking.... I know EXACTLY what this is like! I had been going to confession once a year (or so) for some time. None of them were as full as they should be, and I should have gone more often. Why was I falling down here? Some of it was pride (what do I need a priest for, I can go straight to God). Some of it was that I didn't want to confess certain things. Why? Because I didn't forgive myself. I disapproved of me. The funny thing is, a lot of people who know me would be surprised at that. When I was in the corporate world, I was seen as confident. Some would have said I could stand a little humility (and they would have been right). But at the same time, I did not seek forgiveness, because I wasn't able to forgive myself. I am not sure of the exact relationship between this self-disapproval (unworthiness, shame, etc.?) and pride - but I see a connection. What do you think? I really would like your opinions. Whatever the answer to the connection, I do know this. I finally had a fabulous confession - I laid it all out on the line. I even wrote things down because I wanted to get it all out and have an absolutely clean start. But it required two things: 1. I had to set aside my pride, and humble myself before God, and the priest that stands in for Christ and the body of Christ (that is all of you). Once I humbled myself, I could seek out God and ask for forgiveness. The other thing I had to do, was believe I was worth forgiving. THAT is the connection to the quote above. I think that doing both, humbling myself and believing I was worthy, were two sides of the same coin - I was greater than I feared in God's eyes, and less than I pretended in my own. When I made my confession, I said my greatest sin was my pride. I acted as if I knew better than the Church, I didn't really need a pries to confess all my sins, I knew what was sinful and what was not. But I was afraid to admit this! As I reflect on how I feared bearing my soul (and being vulnerable) in prepping for that confession and how I avoided having that true confession for such a long time, I have to ask why. In the end, it is exactly what the quote above said. Yes I was sinful, but it was my inability to forgive myself that led to a growing rift between me and God. And from that rift, grew my pride (which is a poor substitute for God's love). The feeling I had after that confession was unbelievable. I wanted to run out and do my penance immediately. I was filled with joy. I wanted to dance and sing, do things for others, tell people about God, write blogs and leave encouraging comments for others. :) I am happy to say, that I felt the same exuberance today, even though it had only been a little longer than a month since my last confession. Letting God love you, and loving him back is pretty darn good! God's love, and that fresh clean soul feeling... you just can't beat it! Thank you Lord for confession! Tags: Christianity, Catholicism, Pride, Unworthy, Confession

Prayers for my mom, please

I got a call early in the morning that my dad was taking my mom to the hospital. I am praying that all will be well, but your prayers would greatly appreciated. Thanks! UPDATE: Good news! Just found out it is less serious than they first thought this morning, and it should be a self correcting problem. I pray they are right. Thanks for any prayers, and keep 'em coming. :)

Asking God for Signs

I just wanted to provide a quick link to a post I read that was rather powerful. Check it out if you get a chance. It is at Et tu, Jen?. Take a moment to check it out!

St. Joseph Prayer for Work

Click on picture to see a larger image. I am still feeling overwhelmed with all I have to do right now, but I am sure I can get through it. I have a couple thoughts I want to post on, but wish I had more time. They will get out eventually. In the meantime I thought I would post a prayer to St. Joseph for work. I found this at www.rc.net/marquette/carmelite/glorious_st__joseph.htm Glorious St. Joseph, model of all those who are devoted to labor, obtain for me the grace to work conscientiously, putting the call of duty above my natural inclinations; to work with gratitude and joy, considering it an honor to employ and develop, by means of labor, the gifts received from God, without recoiling before weariness or difficulties; to work, above all, with purity of intention, and with detachment from self, having always death before my eyes and the account which must render of time lost, of talents wasted, of good omitted, of vain complacency in success, so fatal to the work of God. All for Jesus, all for Mary, all after thy example, O Patriarch St, Joseph. Such shall be my watchword in life and death. Amen. Tags: Christianity, Catholicism, Prayer, Work, Saint Joseph

Blogging With Love

Click on picture to see a larger image. Last night I was reading my Bible. I was looking for a little peace because this week has been pretty tough, and next week looks to be the same. I have been reading 1 Corinthians, and came to chapter 13. This is the beautiful passage describing what love is and what it isn't. Last night the very first line of Chapter 13 struck me. I am quoting here from the New Jerusalem version - “Though I command languages both human and angelic – If I speak without love, I am no more than a gong booming or a cymbal crashing.” (1 Corinthians 13:1) When I read the verse above, I decided to post some thoughts I have had on blogs I recently visited. I have been reading different Catholic blogs lately, and have had two distinct types of experiences. I don’t want to call out specific blogs of one or the other type, but I did want to discuss the experiences. The first experience is on sites where the writer speaks with love. The voice I hear in these is one of humility and compassion. Even when there are strong opinions, there is respect for the reader. There is a clear sense of Christian love – even in firmness. When I don't agree, I listen - perhaps I am wrong and should reconsider my position. There is a sense of community here. In others (read many), I hear condescension, condemnation, and disrespect . For example, there was a blog spot (and I don’t want to mention the name) where they were discussing homosexuality and homosexual marriage. The point of view was conservative (which I actually agree with), but the tone was utter disdain and condemnation. On another, they were preaching war and hate right after discussing pro-life and saving the unborn (even though the Pope has come out against the wars and aggression being discussed). In comments on some of the sites as well, I see a lack of Christian love for others within and outside the Church. With the first set, I feel a sense of community – even when I don’t completely agree. With the latter, I am left empty even when I am in complete agreement with the issues. Have others noticed the difference? I have included a picture of a schooner with this blog. I think we are all on the same ship (the Church). We are all in this together – but it seems like some want to either throw othersout, jump ship, or take control. All of which make for an unhappy situation. Have you seen what I mean? What do you think? Is this latter set, the noise of gongs and the sound of cymbals? Does not the noise make the message of love harder to hear? Share your thoughts. Tags: Christianity, Catholicism, Love, Community, Blogging

Festival pix and personal update

Click image for festival pictures It has been a particular busy/stressful time of late. Per my last post, my parish had its annual festival this weekend. I spent some wonderful time working and connecting with fellow parishioners. You can see plenty of pictures from the event by clicking the picture above. You can tell by many of the pictures, folks were enjoying the event. For any Beatitude’s parishioners, sorry if I missed you – there were so many people helping, and I am positive I missed lots of folks. From a community building standpoint, it looked like a success to me. I hope it was financially successful as well. I did not get a chance to post anything yesterday, and this post is short. My aunt’s husband died over the weekend, and we need to spend some time in support. On top of that, work volume turned up from a steady garden hose to an open fire hydrant. Needless to say, it is a bit stressful right now. Prayers are appreciated, of course. Tags: Beatitudes Parish, Festival

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's off to work the parish festival I go

Please pray that our parish festival is a success this weekend. Successful in building community and in providing the parish with the needed resources. Look for a few photos - but I may not post tomorrow with all of the excitement.

Grattitude & Responsiblity - Laying Foundations

click picture for larger image I have lived in Portland, OR, Concord, CA (Bay Area), and Atlanta, GA. But I grew up in the San Gabriel/Rosemead area of So Cal (about 11 miles east of Downtown LA). While I am less than 15 miles from there now, I don't get there too often. But I was there yesterday, with a little time on my hands. So I stopped at the parish I grew up in - St. Anthony's. It was first Friday, so I got the chance to spend time in prayer and adoration of the Blessed Sacrament in the very church where I was baptized, had my first confession, my first communion, and was confirmed. This was the church where I was altar boy for so long, where my faith was born and fostered - among a community of believers. It was a wonderful experience. Being there in the church, and later walking the school grounds where I attended 1st through 8th grade brought back many memories. I remember Fr. Flanagan, his Irish brogue and the wonderful homilies - many of which I still remember. My favorite was one on "EGO," which he told us really means "Edging God Out." I remember Msgr. Glennon who was an excellent shepherd, guiding his flock justly - neither iron willed nor laissez fair. I remember the wonderful music directed by Sr. Dolorous (I still love the St. Louis Jesuits). I remember the special lessons and examples from the Sisters of the Holy Names of Jesus and Mary; Sr. Dolorous, Sr. Genevieve (I still remember the poetry she taught us), Sr. Helen and the first principal I ever new - Sr. Mary Anne. I also remember the lay teachers that touched me - Mr. Betendorf, Mrs. Kattel, and others. I saw the Christian Service hut, where I remember my mom and dad packing groceries for the poor. I remembered the lay people who made the parish home and set self sacrificing examples. People like Joe Calorino or Al Brown - who was always there to serve, and his wife Edith who was one of the most prayerful women I have ever met. I thank God for the tremendous foundation that these people so selflessly provided. The lessons, the examples, and the community. I pray that wherever they are, the Lord smiles upon them. For those who have left this world, I pray that they are with Jesus now, and ask that they put in a good word for me. I pray too, that I may touch the lives of someone as they touched mine. So what is my point? It is this. However you got were you are, thank God for those who helped get you there and remember that we all have a responsibility to provide a firm foundation for others. Tags: Christianity, Catholicism, Gratitude, Community, Thanks

“Thy Will Be Done” or “My Will Be Done” – Part II

click picture for larger image I had meant to get part two out yesterday, but work has heated up. And when it is your anniversary, other priorities demand the attention of any free time. So I have this today. Part I can be found by clicking here. In Part I, I discussed greed. A second stumbling block in praying “Thy Will Be Done” is pride. The Catholic Encyclopedia starts off with a succinct description of Pride: “Pride is the excessive love of one's own excellence.” How does this form a stumbling block for us? It is because we think we don’t need any guidance. We believe we are quite capable of figuring out right and wrong on our own, thank you very much. When I was in High School I had the privilege of going to Our Lady Queen of Angels Seminary. I really enjoyed the religion classes – from reading encyclicals with Fr. Ziemann to Church History with Fr. Burnham to senior religion class with Fr. Dober. In Fr. Dober’s class we discussed the role of our conscience, and how we must obey our conscience, and that we will be ultimately judged against it. Well, that was enough for me. After telling Fr. Ziemann the year before that the Church needed to stay out of the bedroom, I had all I needed to feed my pride. Now, I thought, I could do whatever pleased me. It also formed a political belief that even heinous acts were OK, so long as the person'sconscience thought they were OK (and they didn't hurt anyone). Basically, pride and arrogance lead to this relativist thinking. “Hey, I’m good with it, so it must be OK” and “whatever you think is good is up to you.” So we say “It doesn’t matter if it says different in the Bible – that is just interpretation; and what does the Church know – they’re still in the dark ages.” Of course, I de-emphasized the part of Fr. Dober's teaching that said a conscience must be informed by Holy Scripture and the teachings of the Church. I didn't want to think about how it was my responsibility to study Scripture and learn what the church teaches and why. The thing is my conscience actually knew better. All along, when I would say that I was following my conscience, there was a part of me that knew I was fooling myself. I think this issue is hard for those in the United States, and I suspect for other developed democracies. We vote on issues, and my vote is as good as any other (unless you are in Florida). Everyone is equal under the law, and all are free to express their opinions. With this, we can easily confuse political tolerance with morality. Just because someone can say something does not make it true. Just because different perspectives are rightly tolerated in a democracy – does not mean that all perspectives are right. But it is easy, especially when you believe in the value of democracy, to lapse into this relativism. We set ourselves up as heads of our own individual churches. We reject Church teachings and the Scriptures, because “we know better.” But we do know better. Deep down, we know we are not wiser than God. We do need the Bible and the teachings of His Church. We know that 2000 years of study and prayer, are better informed than my current and often sinful view. If we let go of our pride and our need to control, then we are truly liberated. When we humbly approach God for teaching and guidance, then we can follow our conscience. Then we can pray "Thy will be done" and truly mean it. Tags: Christianity, Catholicism, Pride, Our Father

15 Year Wedding Anniversary

Lynn and kids in Yosemite. Click on picture for a larger image. I have been married to my wonderful wife Lynn for 15 years today! Over that time, we have been blessed with two children, with a third on the way. 15 years. It doesn't seem like that long at all, and I am ready to go for more! It is probably because Lynn is patient and compassionate. It takes a lot to deal with me. I suppose my making her laugh helps. We created a foundation together and built upon it. Looking back, there is one piece of advice we received that made all the difference. The priest who married us gave us this advice: For one year, you do everything together - no guys night out, no girls night out, do the chores together, go shopping together. For one year there is only we - not me, he or she. We followed that advice (Lynn thinks I needed to do better with the kitchen and laundry, but I was surprised at how well I did with even those). It totally makes you think "we." It helped us build something meant to last. Lynn is never far from my thoughts, and I do not forget or ignore the other half of "us." This is the best advice in the world. I have passed it to others (some who look at me strangely - oh well). I thank God for the wonderful life we have together. This has been the easiest commitment I ever made! J Tags: Marriage, Anniversary

“Thy Will Be Done” or “My Will Be Done” – Part I

Cross in cemetery at Santa Barbara mission. Click for a larger image. When I pray the Our Father, I will often stop and contemplate one of the specific phrases. From "Our Father" to "deliver us from evil," I find meditating upon each, provides a special opportunity to open oneself to God. The phrase I stop on most is "Thy will be done." I think that praying this AND actually meaning it is the hardest thing for someone (especially an American) to do - at least it has presented a great challenge for me. I think the problem for me (and perhaps more than me?) comes in two distinct parts: greed and pride. I believe that these two sins are the greatest threat to living a Christian life. I'd like to share my thoughts on greed today and pride tomorrow. The first sense is one of greed. "My will" gives us more of what we want. We really mean "let my will be Thy will.". The thinking is tantamount to the following: "I want what I want, and I want it ASAP." We want to make more money. We want new things (car, house, computer, golf clubs, etc.). We want others to be a certain way. We want to be admired. We want recognition. We want to be in charge. We are focused on what we want, not what God wants - "my will" not "Thy will." But "my will" doesn't work! It leads to anxiety, worry, and stress. We fret over situations, other people, our own abilities, or obstacles that stand between us and our goals. And when we do achieve them, we are unfulfilled - we want more and move on to the next conquest. "My will" does not feed the soul. A focus on "my will" can also negatively change who we are. I work for myself now (and I am the toughest boss I ever had), but I had been a VP at a Fortune 1000 company. Being in my 30's, I was doing pretty well by the world's standard, and could have gone even further in the corporate world. But climbing the ladder requires an intense focus on goals to achieve success. You can end up trading things you need to get what you want - time with family vs. time at work, compassion vs. company politics, helping others vs. helping me, growing a family vs. growing a bank account, building community vs. putting in the hours. In contrast "Thy will" frees us and fills us. By doing "Thy will" we let go of control, and let God direct us. We still have goals, but now our effort is seeking alignment with God's will through an ongoing process of discernment. We still work and strive, but it is different when we give up the driver's seat. God does not stop filling us with love if we don't succeed in the way the world judges. To God, "how" we live is more important than what we accomplish. When we accept this, and stop judging ourselves on the World's terms, He will accomplish what he judges as great through us. When we can surrender that control, we can say "Thy will be done" and truly mean it. Tags: Catholicism, Christianity, Our Father, Prayer, Greed

Mission San Gabriel Arcangel

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Local Photo Pilgramage

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